The Only Time A Turkey Should Be On A Plane Is When It’s Between 2 Slices Of Bread

Turkey on flightSomewhere Aboard Delta Airlines (Storch Report) — Flying is such a pleasure today, you might find better accommodations on a cattle car.

However, you might have to put up with a few moo’s here and there, but it’s probably better than gobbling your way home with a turkey.

Turkeys are very excitable birds, they often suffer from aortic aneurysms and have to be fed high blood pressure medication to calm them down on the farm until they get fat enough to go to market.

Turkey on plane

But some turkeys these days get to fly on Delta Airlines, especially if they’ve been designated a ‘service animal.’ You see turkey’s don’t have a fear of flying, as some passengers do.

Delta said this week that by letting the turkey fly, they complied with the Air Carrier Access Act.  “While we can’t always accommodate all pets, Delta employees made a judgment call based in part on extensive documentation from the customer.  

“We review each case and make every effort to accommodate our customers’ travel needs while also taking into consideration the health and safety of other passengers.” 

Delta does have some regulations regarding which animals it will not allow on board. 

The airline’s policies state the animal has to behave in a tame manner and must smell clean. 

They prohibit snakes and other reptiles, ferrets, rodents, and spiders. 

The act states that, as long as those flights remain in US territories, with the proper paperwork, even exotic animals like monkeys, miniature horses, and pigs are allowed, as long as they are not too heavy and do not block the aisles or sit in emergency exits. 

 On flights longer than 8 hours, service animal owners must provide written confirmation that their pet will not relieve itself during the flight, or will do so in a way that will not “create a health or sanitation issue on the flight.”   I don’t quite know how they can assure that.  Otherwise, they must ride in the cargo hold.

It seems to me this political correctness has run amuck and is for the birds.  I suppose if the plane goes down, they could always let the bird out to fly home on another set of wings.

CNN reported that an 80-pound pig was kicked off of a US Airways flight for “howling” and pooping in the aisle before the plane took off.

Apparently registering almost any kind of pet as an Emotional Support Animal is as simple as a single paid consultation with a mental health professional and once approved, they fly for free.

I don’t know about you, but it seems to me the only time a turkey should be on a plane is when it’s between two slices of bread.




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