Making Hillary Ordinary & Cool

Van called ScoobyNew York (Storch Report) — Months before the campaign committee set the date for announcing that Hillary Clinton was officially running for President of the United States, the image makers from within apparently held a series of brain storming sessions to determine how they wanted to portray their candidate.

I am sure there was a lot of serious and contentious debate during these brain storming sessions, and now that we are three days into what has been announced as a 6 to 8 week “meet and greet” campaign before a grand speech and rally in May, we are seeing that the image merchants decided to do a transformation of Hillary to a “cool and ordinary” person.

This, the brain trusts must have agreed, would not be an easy task to take a celebrity who considers herself to be extraordinary and make her ordinary, least of all cool.

However, before the image makers decided to make her ‘ordinary and cool’ they must have realized she comes with host of Louis Vuitton baggage: A Senator, who has no legislation attached to her name, voted to go to war in Iraq, one who had a lackluster record as Secretary of State and was directly involved in the Benghazi scandal, traveled first class to 112 countries in her Oscar de la Renta pantsuits, gave $300,000 speech’s traveling to them in Gulfstream Jets and holing up in presidential suites after leaving the State Department, and as a part of the Clinton family is not particularly known for trust, with a trail of secrecy, scandals, attached at the hip with President Obama’s failed policies and is part of a family that plays by a different set of rules than most.

Hillary's Scooby VanI envision these following notes coming from those brain storming sessions now that the Hillary campaign is in the early stages of rolling out her new image:

“First, we must establish before the official announcement that the Clinton’s were broke when they left the White House in 2001 , something like, ‘We were not only dead broke, but in debt.’ This way the everyday American can more closely identify with her.”

“I agree, and I think we should have a controlled venue for the announcement, not a grand event surrounded by supporters and reporters who will fire off unwanted and difficult questions which we don’t want to answer at the time of launch. We can do a grand announcement later.”

“How about announcing her run with a tweet on Twitter limited to 140 characters something like, ‘I’m running for President.  Everyday Americans need a champion, and I want to be that champion’ and then we do a slick canned video featuring more of everyday Americans rather than the candidate.  We bring her in during the last quarter of the video.”

“Good idea, then we should put her in her ‘Scooby’ Van, which she named the last time around, send her on a 5 State 1,000 mi road trip to Iowa on a ‘meet, greet and listen’ campaign.  We could even have her stay in a Motel 6 and be the last one to turn the lights off.”

“I think you’re pushing the envelope with the last idea.”

“We have to be careful about what kind of Van we use for this trip.  It can’t be a Mercedes or Land Rover.  How about a three Van caravan carrying secret service and staff.  The Vans could be something like black armored Chevy Express Explorer’s, the Limited SE model with a 6 liter V8 engine and a 6 speed automatic transmission with no see through windows from the outside.”

Hillary's travels“Yes, and we have to be sure that the Vans are produced in the US with all union labor, to be UAW friendly.”

“And, while she’s on the road she could stop  in one of those one horse towns outside of Toledo where there’s a Chipotle, and with her sidekick Huma Abedin, both wearing cool sunglasses, they walk into the shop and order a Burrito incognito to see if anyone recognizes her.  That should help get the Mexican vote.”

“That’s good and then we could arrange to leak video footage from security cameras to the media.”

“Now were cooking,” as the image makers begin to do high fives around the room.

“No press conferences, no husband Bill, controlled interviews with media ‘friendlies,’ tight secret service security, especially with the media so we don’t get those unwanted questions, especially those that deal with private emails and servers or Benghazi.”

“I can see it now as we ‘ramp-up’ this 5 State soft launch of a presidential campaign, the media will be stationed at all the off-ramps trying to get a glimpse of our elusive candidate meeting with ‘everyday Americans’ championing their causes and projecting that image of the ‘ordinary, cool dude bonding with the people of middle America.’  We will build our momentum in the latter part of May in this first stage of this campaign holding the grand rally with speeches, supporters and a gala only second to the one to come, the nomination of Hillary as the candidate of the Democratic party at the National Convention.”

Once again the image makers marched around the conference table giving high fives.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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