Balls-R-Sports

deflated footballNew England (Storch Report) — There are spit balls, tar balls, scruffy balls, T-balls, testosterone balls, bat-tar balls and now deflatable balls.

Will boys ever stop playing with their balls?

In a few weeks we may very well be watching the Deflatable Super Bowl for inflatable prices to watch a ball game where cheaters will look for an edge to win with owners of teams who will go as far to manipulate their own balls to the degree they impotent-ize (made-up word) the game.

There has probably been cheating in sports long before Shoeless Joe Jackson and the Chicago Black Sox scandal in baseball.

Do what it takes to get the winning edge, that’s sports and unfortunately every aspect of life.

It should come as no surprise that cheating is a part of all forms of sports, baseball, basketball, football, soccer, tennis, golf, etc., etc., etc., as they said in the King and I.

It is part of our culture, especially when it comes to money, which has been inflated into our sports world exponentially.

Greed is the operative objective, so cheating easily becomes an ally.

The players know it, the owners and the leagues participate in it because of the revenue it produces.

While most of the cheating with balls involves inflation, the latest episode involves alleged deflation.

Yes, the NFL is probing allegations that the New England Patriots deflated the footballs used in the game against the Indianapolis Colts to make balls easier to throw and catch in snowy and windy weather conditions, both of which existed.  Nevertheless they were both playing with the same balls and New England romped over Indianapolis 45-7.

New England, it might be noted, gained more yardage in the game on the ground than in the air. 

But samples of the balls were switched out for testing while the game was being played.  And it should be noted that a manager of the balls on the sidelines supplied by New England could very well be deflating the supply of balls.  Therefore why isn’t the NFL controlling the footballs, rather than the teams?

Be assured that New England will be playing Seattle in the Superbowl, the NFL wouldn’t allow deflated balls to get in the way of all that inflated revenue at stake.

As a public service before you watch the upcoming Super Bowl, that few watch, while they gorge themselves with chicken wings and booze, I thought I might provide you with Rule 2 of the Official NFL rule book that covers the supply of game balls.

Each team is required to make 12 primary balls available for testing two hours and 15 minutes before kickoff.  The home team must provide 12 backup balls, and the visiting team can bring another 12 backup balls.

Six new, specially-marked kicking balls are also used for each game, unpacked by the officials two hours and 15 minutes before kickoff.

Just so you know, in case you ever cared, a regulation NFL football is about 11 inches (28 centimeters) long and about 22 inches (56 centimeters) in circumference at the center.  The weight is 14 – 15 ounces with an inflated air pressure of 12.5 – 13.5 psi.

I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking about watching some professional wrestling on Super Bowl Sunday, now there’s a real honest sport.

My option, fishing!

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2 Responses to Balls-R-Sports

  1. norman says:

    I want to commend you on the public service you provided concerning a very knowledgeable summary of balls; deflated, normal or various shades of grey. An unusual display of accuracy. But the subject of cheating in sports has not been confined to professional athletes and owners for monetary profits. Unfortunately, the Olympic Games have been tarnished at least to the beginning of the 1900’s with numerous cheating scandals. This brings use back to balls the existence of which have not always been necessary for women to compete as men and vice versa. For purposes of brevity I’ll skip to 1936 where a male was forced to compete as a woman by German officials to establish their perverse thinking regarding an Aryan race. Then we can skip to Cold War times when Eastern Bloc nations, notably the USSR, had women competing as men. This produced a slippery slope since sex, in some instances were determined by chromosome tests.
    Sex testing has gone through a number of supposedly more accurate advances, but remains a very sensitive situation.
    Cheating for monetary rewards seems honorable compared to abusing young athletes for old men’s political maneuverings.
    I won’t touch Olympic judging.
    All I can say about all this ball talk is that “my cup runneth over.” So enjoy the game. Antonio Rocca and Gorgeous George have long since left the building.

  2. Don Storch says:

    I think your comments are worthy as an addendum.

Comments are closed.