I went for a drink at Elaine’s with my friend Dino in Manhattan and sat alongside a rather attractive middle aged woman with breasts that seemed to be seeking relief.

We ordered two Tanqueray’s on the rocks with a twist.

Dino, a New York city detective, saw the scene and said, “Cool it, you don’t know who she’s with, or who she might be waiting for.”

“Well”, I said, “the guy alongside of her is with his date, she seems to be alone.”

“Yeh, but she may be waiting for someone.”

“Well, we’ll wait and see.”

“I don’t know if you noticed,” Dino, “she doesn’t have a ring on her ring finger and that finger is longer than the second finger.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well, did you see Dr. Phil on ‘The View’ today?  He says people with ring fingers – you know that’s the fourth one – that is longer than the second one are more likely to be untrue to their husbands or significant others.”

“You’ve got to be kidding.  You mean infidelity? You’re not listing to that crap?”

“No,” Dino, “this has been proven scientifically.”

“Look”, Dino, “her drink is almost empty, I’m going to buy her one.”

I turned to her and asked if I might buy her a drink.

“What are you having?”

She answered, “An apple martini.”

I nodded to the bartender and told him to give her a refill and to put it on my bill.

“What’s your name?” I asked.

She said “Buffy.”

“Buffy”, I said, “are you from the Hampton’s?”

She said no, she was from Brooklyn.

“Brooklyn, wow I had a tryout with the Brooklyn Dodgers at Ebbets Field.”

“How did it work out?”

“Not too well with them, but had a lot of fun playing ball.”

Making a rather smooth segue I said, “Do you know your ring finger, which doesn’t have a ring, is longer than your second finger?”

“Well, I haven’t really noticed, but so what?”

“Do you watch ‘The View’ . . .  well they had Dr.Phil on today and he says that studies show that a person with a ring finger that is longer than the second finger is more likely to have infidelity tendencies.  You’re ring finger is longer than the second finger . . .  so is mine.  Did you ever have you’re L33 gene checked?”

“My L33 gene?”

“Yes, that’s the one that shows that if you have two copies of this allele you would have twice the risk of experiencing marital dysfunction, with the threat of divorce.”

With that she picked up her bag, thanked me for the drink and walked out of Elanie’s.

Dino said, “That worked well!”

“Yeh, I kind of burned and crashed.”

“But she did say goodbye when she got to the door,” Dino said.

“What did she say?”

“She gave you the finger.”

“Which one?”

“The third one.”