I was so comforted this morning after I reintroduced myself to my golf clubs in the garage after more than two weeks of no golf to find out from the New York Times that this cold thing that I’m feeling here has to do with ‘Arctic oscillation’ and that I can now re-direct my attention to the early bird special here on the west coast of south Florida.

I’m really not interested in food, and I hate early bird specials.  But that’s not typical here, especially with the snow birds.

But the Times enlightened me.  They assured me that what’s going on has nothing to do with Global cooling?

Al Gore must have gotten to them.

You see, as they tell it, it is has to do with, “Arctic oscillation, in which opposing atmospheric pressure patterns at the top of the planet occasionally shift back and forth, affecting weather across much of the Northern Hemisphere.”

Well that’s fine, but I didn’t move to Florida to be cold.  And I’m tired of Al Gore telling me how warm it’s getting and winning prizes for it.

If I wanted to be cold I would move to North Dakota, and I really don’t want to hear from them about how cold it is – that’s where they selected to be.

If I select to go to the early bird special in Florida, I don’t expect to wear something I don’t have – ear muffs.

They say in the Times that what is most notable this year is that the pattern of high pressure over the Arctic is more pronounced than at any time since 1950.  Well for God sakes, I wasn’t even out of high school then.

They go on to say, “In most years over the past few decades, the opposite has been true there has been lower than average pressure over the Arctic, and higher than average pressure over the mid-latitudes — the middle of which cuts through Maine, across the Great Lakes and on to Oregon.”

The best line in this piece that seems to defend global warming while I am re-introducing myself to my golf clubs in the garage, “No one is quite sure what drives these flip-flops in air pressure.”

I thought flip flops were what I used to wear in Florida.

There are really some crazy things going on today, I mean the economy isn’t very good, jobs have gone somewhere else, houses are not worth what it takes to pay off the mortgage, Bill Clinton thinks the President would be fetching coffee a few years ago and Harry Reid says our President speaks well for a Negro.

I don’t know Al, all I want to be is warm in Florida.