I can remember it as though it was yesterday.  It was the early 50′s and my family bought its first TV. It was a 10 inch Emerson, rather an oblong design to handle the TV tube.  Everyone could turn it on.  There was an on off button, much like a radio in those days and a dial that would change the channels.  When you turned it on and got a test pattern that was sharp and clear you would watch it.  There were Sunday’s when the Ed Sullivan hour would come on and you were amazed when a black and white image appeared on the screen, with song dance and music.  Beyond that there was wrestling. Some thought it was real in those days.

Seventy years later I have one of those flat TV digital screens, 42 inches, with those three challenging clickers and hundreds of channels, none with a test pattern.  Beyond this TV we have four more and they have clickers, all of which require knowledge of the clickers to make them work.

I don’t like it, but I’m the only one in the house that knows how to work the five TVs, all of which become more difficult when you have Blue Ray DVD players, obsolete VHS recorders  and some TVs with a combo of all the modern devices including memory cards.

Have you ever tried to explain to a guest how to handle one TV with three clickers, not alone four more in guest rooms with multiple clickers?  By the time you get finished with the instructions, it’s time for the guests  to leave.

And then you don’t know what they have learned or remember for their return visit.

And none of this has anything to do with when we have a power failure or surge and the TV needs to be rebooted and in which order the clickers need to be re-sequenced

For the sake of a shorter story, lets stay with three clickers in the family room.

After some 20 years in this house my wife decides that it is time that she should  know how to work the TV.  So I begin my remedial TV instructions and she takes notes.

We begin with the Comcast TV clicker.  You push the all on button – that’s the red one – and sometimes that puts on both the TV and the cable box.

If you notice that the blue light is not on the Sharp Aqous TV then you need to turn on the on button on the Sharp clicker.

Once you have a picture on the TV screen you will notice the TV Guide comes up on the screen.  Well that doesn’t work.  You now have to pick up the Sharp clicker and push TV menu.  That gets rid of the menu screen and you can go to the channel of your choice.  You can do this by punching in the numbers or doing the channel search – you know that’s when I click through a hundred channels that disturbs you so.

Now you are in the TV mode.  I know that there are times you want to watch a flick.

Well in order to get in the flick mode. You must pick up the Sharp clicker, push input to get out of the HD TV mode and into input 2 which allows you to access the Sony Blue Ray DVD.  Now you pick up the Sony clicker and push on.

You will see that the tray opens up on the DVD player. You insert the DVD and push play – oh, that’s not the one labeled play, it’s the one in the center of all those north, south, east, west, arrows and don’t ask me why, it’s just the way it is — and you will see a bunch of previews, in order to not watch them all don’t push the advance button, push the arrow buttons and that will move the previews forward.  Again, don’t ask me why this is the way it is – it’s just the way it is!

Now to get back to where you once were in order to shut off the TV you just reverse the order of these instructions and then shut off the all off button – that’s the red one – and everything should go off. If you notice that the TV still seems to be on then you pick up the Sharp clicker and turn off the TV.

Yes, my dear there were simpler days, and I do miss watching the Test Pattern.