The Commission on Presidential Debates, after reviewing the transcript of the 63rd annual Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner last night, today met and decided that all future Presidential debate candidates would have to respond to questions as to why they should be president and how they would deal with the critical issues of our nation with humor, satire and cynicism. 

After all if it’s going to take us two years to elect a president of this republic, the electorate should at least be entertained, was the conclusion of the Commission.

I couldn’t agree with the Commission more after examining the transcript.  We could immediately measure the winner or loser of a debate with a laugh-a-meter. We wouldn’t need polls; we could register audience reactions at the forum along with Neilson ratings of TV audience reactions.

Obama and McCain proved the Commission’s decision when they scored more points against each other with humor, satire and cynicism in one evening of fun than they did in three presidential debates.

McCain said, “Events are moving fast in my campaign.  And, yes, it’s true that this morning I dismissed my entire team of senior advisers.  All of these positions will now be held by a man named, “Joe the Plumber.”

Obama said in the spirit of full disclosure, there are a few October surprises you’ll be finding out about in the coming weeks. “First of all, my middle name is not what you think.  It’s actually Steve.  That’s right. Barack Steve Obama.”

McCain said the Obama campaign claims that this honest, hardworking small businessman could not possibly have enough income to face a tax increase under the Obama plan.  “What they don’t know is, “Joe the Plumber” recently signed a very lucrative contract with a wealthy couple to handle all the work on all seven of their houses.

Obama tried to answer who he is.  He said, “Contrary to the rumors you have heard, I was not born in a manger.

“I was born on Krypton and sent here by my father Jorel to save the Planet Earth.”

McCain tried to make the point that this campaign needed the common touch of a working man. “After all, it began so long ago with the heralded arrival of a man known to Oprah Winfrey as, “The One.” Being a friend and colleague of Barack, I just called him “that one.”

“And he  — my friends, he doesn’t mind at all.  In fact, he even has a pet name for me — “George Bush.”

Obama responded, “Many of you — many of you know that I got my name, Barack, from my father.  What you may not know is Barack is actually Swahili for “That One.”

“And I got my middle name from somebody who obviously didn’t think I’d ever run for president.

“If I had to name my greatest strength, I guess it would be my humility.

” Greatest weakness, it’s possible that I’m a little too awesome.”

McCain feeling somewhat out of place in a Manhattan hotel filled with Democrats said,” There are signs of home even in the most unexpected places — even in this room full of proud Manhattan Democrats.  I can’t — I can’t shake that feeling that some people here are pulling for me.

“I’m delighted to see you here tonight, Hillary.”

Obama talking about his associations, said “Here’s another revelation, John McCain is on to something.  There was a point in my life when I started palling around with a pretty ugly crowd.  I’ve got to be honest; these guys were serious dead beats.  They were low life’s, unrepentant, no-good punks.

“That’s right.  I’ve been a member of the United States Senate.

“Come to think of it, John, I swear I saw you at one of our meetings.”

Taking a poke at the media, McCain said, “My old friend and Green Room pal Chris Matthews used to like me, but he found somebody new — somebody who opened his eyes, somebody who gave him a thrill up his leg.

“And we’ve talked about it.  I told him maverick I can do, but messiah is above my pay grade.

“You know, it’s going to be a long, long night MSNBC if I manage to pull this thing off.”

And so a vote for humor.