With all the flack that’s flying around during this Presidential campaign, especially over Gov. Sarah Palin’s selection as the GOP nominee for Vice President, I thought of a way we might resolve this media racist/sexist personal attack-dog mentality — why don’t we merge the two young candidates, Barack and Sarah, elect them to office, and send John and Joe to the early bird special at a Florida assisted living facility?

After all, we are really not going to get change from John and Joe, who nap every afternoon, our hope is in a Barack and Sarah ticket where inexperience abounds and change will take place by mere trial and error.

This dream ticket would be the first of firsts: the first black president; the first female vice president; the first inexperienced team leading the US; the first president born to a mother of 18; the first VP with five children, one of which is a teen who is pregnant; the first president who associates with felons and who has had a minister that helped him find Jesus, but denounces the US; the first VP who’s husband is a blue collar worker and has been arrested on a DUI; the first president who was associated with a Weatherman terrorist and was raised a Muslim; the first VP who’s husband is a snowboard race champion in Alaska; the first president who plays basketball; the first VP who was a point guard and hunts the wilds of Alaska for bear; the first handsome president with big ears, and the first VP who was a beauty pageant winner.

Aren’t these the attributes that we are looking for in a dream ticket? It’s important the president and the vice president show that they are human so they can relate to the common man.  It is important they make the mistakes we see in all families, after all how else can we relate to them?

Most of us are not interested in resolving issues such as the energy crisis, the economy, ending the war in Iraq, what judges we will name to the Supreme Court, pro choice or pro life, gun control, homosexual marriage, tax increase, reform social security, capital gains tax, dividend tax, income tax and inheritance tax.

A Barack, Sarah ticket will provide the fodder for the grocery store tabloids and what more could we ask for?